Random thoughts and Painful loves...

Is the path paved safer or is the unknown truly scary? Someone recently told me that we are not afraid of the new or unknown but we are afraid of letting go of what we know and feel secure with.

Why do we fear failure and rejection almost as much as dying?
Is it that we yearn to leave a legacy of perfection?

To be loved is one of heaven's most joyous gifts,
but to be loved by two amazing people, is a curse
The longing to belong to a heart, that burns intensely

1. Yes, on a karaoke dance floor is where it all began,
2. I always knew there was something there but when we sang,
3. that Aerosmith tune, I knew we had made an inevitable connection,
4. as we slow danced so closely, I felt that this may be more than just an attraction.
5.  
6. Your head was pressed ever so gently on my shoulder,
7. we looked just like the other couples there, except they were much older
8. Once we walked outside, into the glimmer of the moonlight,
9. we continued our dancing and you held me so tight
10.  
11. I yearned for your lips to become one with mine,
12. I couldn't let go of your hands, it all felt sublime
13. That night as I laid in my occupied bed,
14. I couldn't stop thinking of you, your face was embedded in my head
15.  
16. As the days passed by, we grew closer and fonder of each other,
17. We were no longer seen without one another.
18. Then you challenged me with leaving the world behind,
19. and running away for a day to see what we would find
20.  
21. And now I can clearly say, we found love that sunny day,
22. amongst the palms trees, the waves and your arms is where I wanted to stay
23. I never thought that love could come in 3 short weeks or so,
24. I would have followed you to the end of the earth, if that's where you chose to go
25.  
26. Your kiss was the one, I'd been waiting for all of my life,
27. I felt so lucky to have found you, when most people only strive
28. To attain happiness even if it's not with their greatest love of all,
29. but I feel your truth when you look at me, your eyes have me enthralled
30.  
31. Passing you down the hallways, now took my breath away,
32. I feared the thought of you leaving me and your heart going astray
33. then that Friday we went out on our first official date,
34. it was the best night of my life, I felt like this was to become our fate,
35.  
36. to fall into this deep love in such tumultuous times,
37. our future was ours together, we would leave the past behind
38. Then the clock struck twelve and my reality set in,
39. I was to choose either life as he knew it, for I was living in sin
40.  
41. This was the toughest decision I'd ever been faced with,
42. Do I follow my heart and run away with you or is it just a myth
43. do fairy tales truly exist, is this a proven fact?
44. Or do I preserve what I know to be safe and leave my family intact
45.  
46. The uncertainty of my choices have infected my broken heart,
47. My eyes flood with tears, just to know that we must stay apart
48. Saying goodbye to you, was my single most painful act,
49. I wish I could turn back the hands of time, and change the track
50.  
51. that our lives took when it was 2009 or 2010,
52. Now my utmost dreaded thought, is that I never see you again.
53. I pray that God would have mercy on our future paths,
54. because I know I cannot live without you, I cannot bare our hell's wrath
55.  
56. I love you, forever and always.

Breaking up IS hard to do!

Why is that statement so true?!?!? Ugh.

No matter who pulls the plug in the relationship, it still hurts like a mother, doesn't it?!?!?
The fact that we bring down the wall we so carefully build 2 protect our most precious asset & then invite a complete stranger in... 2 later find that that 1 person we let in, completely trashed the place, KILLS ME!!!

Why do we make ourselves so vulnerable?
Doesn't wisdom ever kick in???
I think that if we thought more with our brains & not so much with our hearts...we would dodge some of those heartaches. Right?

BULLSHIT.
Who the hell am I kidding?!?! We are the smartest & most civilized species on this earth & we have yet to figure that one out. Why do we feel so "superhuman" (yep, I got that from 1 of my fav new songs) when we're in love? Even the bad days are good. But wait, the second its over, our entire life falls to pieces and shit just goes downhill from there.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've completely given up only to find myself back in the same predicament...scattering to pick up the remnants of what was once a heart.

Dedicated to my Milky me, Nikkerz

If YOU were a girl

I know alot of people (i.e. guys) have hated on Beyonce's "If i were a boy" song but i think it's fuckin genious!!!! I know all my ladies agree :)

Its's bad enough that we have to deal with all the bullshit that mother nature decided 2 punish us with during our entire existence on this earth (& who knows what the hell else in the afterlife...LOL) but we get all the shitty labels. Not fuckin cool! Why is it that when a douchebag husband decides to cheat on his wife and the chick he cheats with is unattached...She's still considered the whore & homewrecker. But hang on...if it were the other way around, noone would have shit to say about him!
Or let's talk about something much more basic such as appearances. If a girl doesn't have her nails did, toes did, hair did, eyebrows did, MAC makeup fresh, Juicy Couture parfume, & hair looking like she just stepped out of a Pantene commercial...she's sloppy. But a dude....totally different outlook. The scruffy, rugged, 5 oclock shadow, sometimes sweaty kinda guy...is considered sexy! WTF!?!?!?

Ladies...we definitely got the short end of the stick on that one! I hope that doesn't apply to all the other sticks in your lives (wink, wink)

Luv Luv!!!

Is it true?!?

You know that old cliche...then one that says "it's better to have loved & lost, then to never have loved at all"......well, I gotta admit, I use to agree with that whole heartedly but now, at the age of 28...after so many heartaches & disappointments...I can't say I do anymore.

WHAT THE HELL'S THE POINT??? Isn't it better to not get hurt, to not feel pain, to not be let down by someone you love? Fuck it. I'd rather be numb to that then to have to experience it first hand. I know, i know...I have been on both sides of that fence but definitely not close to the amount of times I've ended up on the fucked up side "the dark side"...LOL!

Listen, this is how i see it.... you can't miss what you never had...right?

So there. Done. I hereby change that stupid ass saying!

Are we all tainted???

How many times have u heard, " Why is everyone a player here?" or "If they're from Miami, forget it!" Well, tonight my close friend said that very same comment to me about his whorebag ex and I couldn't help but think ..............

ARE WE ALL TAINTED?

Why are people in Miami so different from the rest of the country...not to mention the world? Is it possible that we have so many options in the sunshine state that we refuse to settle? Ever??? Will we ever be satisfied in a monogamous relationship?

I just can't understand it. If we all thirst for love & companionship, then why do we continue to fuck each other over? How the HELL are we ever going to be in a committed & honest relationship...if we can't stop dating more then 3 people at once...& that's only 3 because #4 caught us in a compromising picture on myspace. Yea... u know exactly what i'm talking about. U know, this wkend u were only hanging out with your "girls" or "the boys" & somehow the fuckin paparazzi (i.e. 2night.com...lol!) or that camera whore friend of yours decided to post that 1 pic of u that u don't even remembering posing for...& BAMMMM...BUSTED BITCH!!!

Honestly fellow Floridians....we're fucked!