Random thoughts and Painful loves...

Is the path paved safer or is the unknown truly scary? Someone recently told me that we are not afraid of the new or unknown but we are afraid of letting go of what we know and feel secure with.

Why do we fear failure and rejection almost as much as dying?
Is it that we yearn to leave a legacy of perfection?

To be loved is one of heaven's most joyous gifts,
but to be loved by two amazing people, is a curse
The longing to belong to a heart, that burns intensely

1. Yes, on a karaoke dance floor is where it all began,
2. I always knew there was something there but when we sang,
3. that Aerosmith tune, I knew we had made an inevitable connection,
4. as we slow danced so closely, I felt that this may be more than just an attraction.
5.  
6. Your head was pressed ever so gently on my shoulder,
7. we looked just like the other couples there, except they were much older
8. Once we walked outside, into the glimmer of the moonlight,
9. we continued our dancing and you held me so tight
10.  
11. I yearned for your lips to become one with mine,
12. I couldn't let go of your hands, it all felt sublime
13. That night as I laid in my occupied bed,
14. I couldn't stop thinking of you, your face was embedded in my head
15.  
16. As the days passed by, we grew closer and fonder of each other,
17. We were no longer seen without one another.
18. Then you challenged me with leaving the world behind,
19. and running away for a day to see what we would find
20.  
21. And now I can clearly say, we found love that sunny day,
22. amongst the palms trees, the waves and your arms is where I wanted to stay
23. I never thought that love could come in 3 short weeks or so,
24. I would have followed you to the end of the earth, if that's where you chose to go
25.  
26. Your kiss was the one, I'd been waiting for all of my life,
27. I felt so lucky to have found you, when most people only strive
28. To attain happiness even if it's not with their greatest love of all,
29. but I feel your truth when you look at me, your eyes have me enthralled
30.  
31. Passing you down the hallways, now took my breath away,
32. I feared the thought of you leaving me and your heart going astray
33. then that Friday we went out on our first official date,
34. it was the best night of my life, I felt like this was to become our fate,
35.  
36. to fall into this deep love in such tumultuous times,
37. our future was ours together, we would leave the past behind
38. Then the clock struck twelve and my reality set in,
39. I was to choose either life as he knew it, for I was living in sin
40.  
41. This was the toughest decision I'd ever been faced with,
42. Do I follow my heart and run away with you or is it just a myth
43. do fairy tales truly exist, is this a proven fact?
44. Or do I preserve what I know to be safe and leave my family intact
45.  
46. The uncertainty of my choices have infected my broken heart,
47. My eyes flood with tears, just to know that we must stay apart
48. Saying goodbye to you, was my single most painful act,
49. I wish I could turn back the hands of time, and change the track
50.  
51. that our lives took when it was 2009 or 2010,
52. Now my utmost dreaded thought, is that I never see you again.
53. I pray that God would have mercy on our future paths,
54. because I know I cannot live without you, I cannot bare our hell's wrath
55.  
56. I love you, forever and always.